I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
