Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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