I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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