Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
