Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
