You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize