am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just want to make out with him forever
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
