whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
