So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What drink are we having for lunch?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
