I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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