You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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