you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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