I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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