On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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