Whod you bang
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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