I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
