just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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