On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
