how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
