Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
