I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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