i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
