Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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