she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
