Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
