he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
