he shaved USA in his pubs
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
