have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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