It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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