I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize