it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
