I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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