They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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