and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
