wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
