that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
