Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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