i just identified you from a description of your pipe
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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