i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
