He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
