So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
