let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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