Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
