well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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