Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize