I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
