Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
