8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
