she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
