i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
A+ Viking dick
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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