Well douche your snatch and let's go!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
