Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
