Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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