You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
