We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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