you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she smelled like a LAN party
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
