i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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