Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
