You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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